I saw my stepdad (who I love very much) vividly in my dream. Actually I first see his absence my mother tells me suddenly that he’s died and I’m overwhelmed in absolute disbelief refusing to believe. I hold his pillow against me. Then after a while I see my stepdad and I feel a little relief. He gives me his gold cross he always wears on his neck. He says that he’s not exactly my stepdad not but I tell him he looks exactly like my stepdad there’s a weird ambiguity in there. Then I bring him towards my mother to prove that my stepdad is in fact not dead but my mother looks at him like a stranger like we’re seeing two different people in our minds eye. Even my stepdad/not stepdad tells me he’s just a good copy and I’m fact is a different person. He tells me that if he showed his real form I’d know that he wasn’t the real stepdad. But I tell him not to because even if it’s just a copy I can’t bear to loose it either at least I’d have that copy and delude myself a little bit. There’s an ambiguity in the dream is he really my stepdad that’s in fact not dead or is he just wearing the face of him and that my real stepdad is dead. In any case in the dream I’m unable to confront it. Because I love my stepdad and I would be crushed.
The dream you described seems to reflect your fear of losing your stepdad and the confusion surrounding his identity. The initial shock and disbelief upon hearing of his death suggests that you cannot fathom a world without him and are unwilling to accept his absence. Holding his pillow against you symbolizes your desire for comfort and connection with him.
The appearance of your stepdad in the dream brings a sense of relief, but the ambiguity surrounding his identity reflects your subconscious uncertainty. The gold cross he gives you represents the bond and love you have for each other. However, his claim of not being exactly your stepdad signifies a deeper sense of doubt or alteration in the relationship. This could represent your fear that he might change or be replaced in some way.
When you bring him to your mother to prove he is alive, her reaction as if he is a stranger suggests that she may not share the same perception of him as you do. This disconnect between your perspectives further highlights the confusion and uncertainty surrounding his identity.
The dream also explores the idea of accepting a copy or illusion of your stepdad, even though you understand it's not the real person. This portrays your inner struggle between wanting to hold onto any semblance of him, even if it's not genuine, and the fear of facing the truth and the pain that may come with it.
Overall, this dream reflects your deep love for your stepdad and the fear of losing him. It suggests that you may be grappling with the idea of his mortality and the potential changes in your relationship. It may be a reflection of your subconscious processing these emotions and your desire to hold onto the memories and connection you share.